The Rebound

January 1st of this year I quit smoking.  It has been fairly easy - and except for one slip up (which I will discuss in a moment) I have been going strong for 5 and a half months.

I could not have done this alone.  I owe my success to the help of a young woman whom I thought would be just a rebound.  I planned on tossing her to the curb the way I had my man Winston.

Her name is Nicorette.  I did not plan for her to be in my life for more than 3 months at the very most. But she won't leave me alone.  She keeps meeting me whenever I'm at the CVS.  She really likes long car rides, watching episodes of Miss Marple on Netflix and the bar.  Once..... she even fell asleep in my mouth.  Winston had never done that.  But there Nicorette was right there in the morning - stuck to my face.  It was filthy.  I had to shave to get her out of my mind. (and out of my beard).

I thought she was better than Winston.....I STILL DO....it's just that...I wanted to move on eventually...see lots of others on a daily basis -   Clementine, Cherry, Basil, Benedict, Caesar, Filbert, Graham, Napoleon, Wellington, Ambrosia, Brie, Cookie, Olive, and of course my main men Ben and Jerry.

I can't complain though. I feel a lot better with Nicorette.  And I've managed to put and keep ten pounds on since we've started our affair.  It's just that I know I could gain more without her.

Recently on a trip to Puerto Rico, Nicorette wasn't able to find me after we left San Juan. Without a pharmacy around in Rincon, she didn't know where to find me.  Some friends had brought Winston's cousin Marlboro to the party though.  He just reminded so much of Winston.  They wore the same cologne.  They were both SO SOCIAL.....you know how it is.  So Marlboro and I had a brief affair.  It was just for a couple of days, until I knew I had to find a Walgreens where Nicorette would be waiting for me.

She was. We've been back together since.

I haven't told her but I have a visitor coming over tonight - His name is Spumoni.  He's Italian. He's mutli-racial - Cocoa, Cherry, and Pistachio.

What I scarfed today
Carnation Instant Breakfast
2 pepsis
Toast with Peanut Butter
Meatloaf, Mac and Cheese and Corn from Prime Cuts
Rice with Broccoli and Carrots
Fillet of Tilapia
Pint of Spumoni Ice Cream
Lots of Water
A Gatorade
5 Pieces of my main squeeze Nicorette

Oh....it's been a year?!?!?!? Don't worry. I've been PACKING on the pounds.

So...not quite this much. But so much has been happening, the Thin Man has                                          GOT SOMETHING TO SAY! 
So gear up for some trials and tribulations served from my svelte body and my giant head.
Thanks to Kat for telling me she missed it....that was the catalyst that got me to start spilling my business again.

Devoured today:
3 PB and J's
16oz glass of 2% milk
Bowl of Cinnamon Life
Leftover Orange Beef and Sesame Chicken
Hot and Sour Soup
Fried Rice
A Frozen Dinner - Not Even worth describing (It was Boston Market Pot Roast - judge me I don't give a shit)
A Half pint of Chubby Hubby 
Lots of water
And so my first post back tells you my eating habits today are very similar to what I imagine the average sicko eats in a day, and I think this is becaaaausssse......
I QUIT SMOKING....which will be the topic of my first post back tomorrow.

SO TUNE IN TOKYO!

 
 

The Truth about Hair and Bones.

 Okay, so undoubtedly this photo is from a couple of years ago (3....I mean....15 to be exact). 

But it got me thinking not so much about how age changes us (I'm fine with that and like getting older)
but what it made me consider is how closely I connect my weight with my loss of hair, and how that effects my self image.

When I was with a full head of hair, my look in general was definitely more defined, and I felt more attractive - which to be fair I'm sure most men feel when they are losing their hair.

But as the hair went away I struggled to cling on to it more so because I felt that my weight started to become more noticeable with the hair loss.  The less hair the more angular the face, the more the temple ridges showed and the more I felt like Sally Struthers was going to come up to my door to tell me she had found me my 56 cents a day.

For the last three months I had a let 'try the hair thing out again moment' - which involves lots of hat wearing and desperately trying to stay indoors whenever the wind was over 8mph.  Ridiculousness. So today I went to visit my friends Chip and Xtina (Thanks GUUUUURRRRRLLLLS)  for a buzz.
I've put on 8 pounds now and my face is filling out and you know what?

I looked really good and my face is starting to look a lot less sallow than the photo above.  I think I'm getting use to this.

Also I've realized - to all of you that are trying to lose or gain weight - do not be discouraged - when I'm looking at my self naked in the mirror 8 pounds is a huge change that is noticeable and exciting. Do NOT be upset when others do not notice it yet.

Shout out to BIG TONY - I have developed a loving relationship with mayonnaise. We make out all the time.  It's hot. Don't be jealous.

After 2 weeks....

I'VE GAINED 5 POUNDS!
I can feel my body changing
And a load of holiday goodies ahead
I am 1/7th of the way to my goal

Thanks Joyce of the cheesecake, and to my friends for understanding that I have been a recluse.
I feel like I can do this

3 Filets of Cod, Kashi, Too much pepsi, a gyro, 2 pieces of pizza, the last slice of cheesecake potatochip gardenia mix snow peas and peppercorn dressing lots of water

no exercise today

Mark my Words Bitch.....I will eat that whole fucking Cheesecake.

Before I start this post - I just want to point out that I think it is bizarre that there are literally THOUSANDS of posts of pigs eating cake online.

So Friday night at the show I had a woman walk up to me and give me the "do you eat" statement that I get a couple of times a week.

I replied with a "4000 calories a day!"  "I'm working on gaining weight'
To which she replied "Oh....I don't believe that"

Hold on one second,,,,,Are you calling me a LIAR?
Yes, yes she was.

I had a friend with me (thanks Sandy) who had my back and assured the women that it was true!  That I had been keeping a journal about my process online.....to which the women replied....

"Well I guess you need to eat more than"

Did she not hear the 4000 calorie statement?

This evening my friend Joyce came in and made me a cheesecake.
Joyce's baking skills are NOT a joke and the cheesecake (which I am eating a quarter of as I am writing this) is punch your grandma in the face delicious.

If that woman were here right now and said to me

"Well I guess you need to eat more than"
I would reply

"Mark my Words Bitch.....I will eat that whole fucking Cheesecake."

2pbjs, kashi, oj, milk, 3 bratwurst on buns, sauerkraut, Potato chips, Snap peas with Peppercorn Dressing. A half of the most delicious cheesecake you have ever eaten in your life. 

Push ups chin ups shoulder work.

I'm not a paka pacer....its the New York challenge.

People in small towns drive a lot.  It was one of the hardest things to get used to when I moved to Jackson.
Having lived in Chicago and New York for over a decade I understand the pace of a city and how you move your body to get where you need to be on time.

There was always something about it that was kind of like a challenge:
Example - In 2 minutes you will be late for work.
Position yourself on the subway to press your way through 5 human beings to be in the front of the pack Never take the escalator - Take the stairs three at a time
Look super important.
Treat people like shit on the street to get where you want to go. If some notices that you are being an asshole, half heartedly say "... sorry" and continue to physically move their body out of  your way
Anticipate when the lights will change at crosswalks
Drink triple soy latte while walking.
Step in front of aggressive vehicle with no consideration for your life
My friend Kat taught me this one...Physically punch or kick the vehicle of anyone driving a hummer in the city because what dickweed would drive a hummer in NYC (answer....more than you would think)

 Constant motion. Constant
.
Now, in Jackson,  there is no need for a challenge like that.  I drive everywhere.
So how do I use up that energy?

  I pace. I have a cigarette....I pace. I direct a show.....I pace....I seat the room at my building...I pace.  I pace...and then I pace. It's like I'm a Paka Pacer with no ugly shopping mart to move in...or a hamster in a wheel.  Only the wheel is the confines of a moment, and I can't stop myself from moving

I've found that eating more has become easier.  Now I just need to find how to slow my ass down...especially when there is no place to go.

Food since last time
Keeping up well with the 4000 calories and workouts for the last 5 days
As of this moment....thought earlier today i had a 5 pound gain....realized that is was only 2.




                   BOO

The Ass is Willing but the Knees are Weak

Short Message today:

Let's talk about squats:

1.)They WORK - My butt is already changing.
2.)I'm afraid they are going to mess up my knees...
3.) I want to find an alternate exercise to boost my buttocks.

So I want to know.... how do you all work out your asses?

Food today - Kashi milk banana turkey burger, fresh fruit, coke, 2 pieces of pizza, caramel apple pie, amp energy drink,  almond wheat thin, a whole packet of twizzlers (it is more difficult to eat a lot on show days)

exercise - none