Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Rebound

January 1st of this year I quit smoking.  It has been fairly easy - and except for one slip up (which I will discuss in a moment) I have been going strong for 5 and a half months.

I could not have done this alone.  I owe my success to the help of a young woman whom I thought would be just a rebound.  I planned on tossing her to the curb the way I had my man Winston.

Her name is Nicorette.  I did not plan for her to be in my life for more than 3 months at the very most. But she won't leave me alone.  She keeps meeting me whenever I'm at the CVS.  She really likes long car rides, watching episodes of Miss Marple on Netflix and the bar.  Once..... she even fell asleep in my mouth.  Winston had never done that.  But there Nicorette was right there in the morning - stuck to my face.  It was filthy.  I had to shave to get her out of my mind. (and out of my beard).

I thought she was better than Winston.....I STILL's just that...I wanted to move on eventually...see lots of others on a daily basis -   Clementine, Cherry, Basil, Benedict, Caesar, Filbert, Graham, Napoleon, Wellington, Ambrosia, Brie, Cookie, Olive, and of course my main men Ben and Jerry.

I can't complain though. I feel a lot better with Nicorette.  And I've managed to put and keep ten pounds on since we've started our affair.  It's just that I know I could gain more without her.

Recently on a trip to Puerto Rico, Nicorette wasn't able to find me after we left San Juan. Without a pharmacy around in Rincon, she didn't know where to find me.  Some friends had brought Winston's cousin Marlboro to the party though.  He just reminded so much of Winston.  They wore the same cologne.  They were both SO know how it is.  So Marlboro and I had a brief affair.  It was just for a couple of days, until I knew I had to find a Walgreens where Nicorette would be waiting for me.

She was. We've been back together since.

I haven't told her but I have a visitor coming over tonight - His name is Spumoni.  He's Italian. He's mutli-racial - Cocoa, Cherry, and Pistachio.

What I scarfed today
Carnation Instant Breakfast
2 pepsis
Toast with Peanut Butter
Meatloaf, Mac and Cheese and Corn from Prime Cuts
Rice with Broccoli and Carrots
Fillet of Tilapia
Pint of Spumoni Ice Cream
Lots of Water
A Gatorade
5 Pieces of my main squeeze Nicorette

Wednesday, June 13, 2012's been a year?!?!?!? Don't worry. I've been PACKING on the pounds.

So...not quite this much. But so much has been happening, the Thin Man has                                          GOT SOMETHING TO SAY! 
So gear up for some trials and tribulations served from my svelte body and my giant head.
Thanks to Kat for telling me she missed it....that was the catalyst that got me to start spilling my business again.

Devoured today:
3 PB and J's
16oz glass of 2% milk
Bowl of Cinnamon Life
Leftover Orange Beef and Sesame Chicken
Hot and Sour Soup
Fried Rice
A Frozen Dinner - Not Even worth describing (It was Boston Market Pot Roast - judge me I don't give a shit)
A Half pint of Chubby Hubby 
Lots of water
And so my first post back tells you my eating habits today are very similar to what I imagine the average sicko eats in a day, and I think this is becaaaausssse......
I QUIT SMOKING....which will be the topic of my first post back tomorrow.