Monday, December 20, 2010

After 2 weeks....

I can feel my body changing
And a load of holiday goodies ahead
I am 1/7th of the way to my goal

Thanks Joyce of the cheesecake, and to my friends for understanding that I have been a recluse.
I feel like I can do this

3 Filets of Cod, Kashi, Too much pepsi, a gyro, 2 pieces of pizza, the last slice of cheesecake potatochip gardenia mix snow peas and peppercorn dressing lots of water

no exercise today

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Mark my Words Bitch.....I will eat that whole fucking Cheesecake.

Before I start this post - I just want to point out that I think it is bizarre that there are literally THOUSANDS of posts of pigs eating cake online.

So Friday night at the show I had a woman walk up to me and give me the "do you eat" statement that I get a couple of times a week.

I replied with a "4000 calories a day!"  "I'm working on gaining weight'
To which she replied "Oh....I don't believe that"

Hold on one second,,,,,Are you calling me a LIAR?
Yes, yes she was.

I had a friend with me (thanks Sandy) who had my back and assured the women that it was true!  That I had been keeping a journal about my process which the women replied....

"Well I guess you need to eat more than"

Did she not hear the 4000 calorie statement?

This evening my friend Joyce came in and made me a cheesecake.
Joyce's baking skills are NOT a joke and the cheesecake (which I am eating a quarter of as I am writing this) is punch your grandma in the face delicious.

If that woman were here right now and said to me

"Well I guess you need to eat more than"
I would reply

"Mark my Words Bitch.....I will eat that whole fucking Cheesecake."

2pbjs, kashi, oj, milk, 3 bratwurst on buns, sauerkraut, Potato chips, Snap peas with Peppercorn Dressing. A half of the most delicious cheesecake you have ever eaten in your life. 

Push ups chin ups shoulder work.

Friday, December 17, 2010

I'm not a paka pacer....its the New York challenge.

People in small towns drive a lot.  It was one of the hardest things to get used to when I moved to Jackson.
Having lived in Chicago and New York for over a decade I understand the pace of a city and how you move your body to get where you need to be on time.

There was always something about it that was kind of like a challenge:
Example - In 2 minutes you will be late for work.
Position yourself on the subway to press your way through 5 human beings to be in the front of the pack Never take the escalator - Take the stairs three at a time
Look super important.
Treat people like shit on the street to get where you want to go. If some notices that you are being an asshole, half heartedly say "... sorry" and continue to physically move their body out of  your way
Anticipate when the lights will change at crosswalks
Drink triple soy latte while walking.
Step in front of aggressive vehicle with no consideration for your life
My friend Kat taught me this one...Physically punch or kick the vehicle of anyone driving a hummer in the city because what dickweed would drive a hummer in NYC (answer....more than you would think)

 Constant motion. Constant
Now, in Jackson,  there is no need for a challenge like that.  I drive everywhere.
So how do I use up that energy?

  I pace. I have a cigarette....I pace. I direct a show.....I pace....I seat the room at my building...I pace.  I pace...and then I pace. It's like I'm a Paka Pacer with no ugly shopping mart to move in...or a hamster in a wheel.  Only the wheel is the confines of a moment, and I can't stop myself from moving

I've found that eating more has become easier.  Now I just need to find how to slow my ass down...especially when there is no place to go.

Food since last time
Keeping up well with the 4000 calories and workouts for the last 5 days
As of this moment....thought earlier today i had a 5 pound gain....realized that is was only 2.


Friday, December 10, 2010

The Ass is Willing but the Knees are Weak

Short Message today:

Let's talk about squats:

1.)They WORK - My butt is already changing.
2.)I'm afraid they are going to mess up my knees...
3.) I want to find an alternate exercise to boost my buttocks.

So I want to know.... how do you all work out your asses?

Food today - Kashi milk banana turkey burger, fresh fruit, coke, 2 pieces of pizza, caramel apple pie, amp energy drink,  almond wheat thin, a whole packet of twizzlers (it is more difficult to eat a lot on show days)

exercise - none

Thursday, December 9, 2010


I'm a Gnerd - pronounced nerd. Spelled with a silent G like gnome. (Yes, I referenced gnomes)
Gay nerd. Not ashamed. I have always like nerdy stuff.

Fantasy Novels - check
Music Theatre - check
Jeopardy - check
LOST, Twin Peaks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer - check
Comic Books - check
Math Class - check (especially calculus - its like a big giant puzzle)
Ny Times Crossword Puzzle - check
Games Magazine's annual list of the top 100 board games? - check
Final Fantasy and all other video games - check
and the HOLY GRAIL - Dungeons and Dragons - CHECK

so how does this effect how thin I am one may ask?
Don't all these activities involve surrounding yourself with Hostess Cupcakes and Cool Ranch Doritos,
ignoring the acne erupting on your face will listening to Metallica's Enter Sandman?

1.) I don't eat that shit
2.) I have always had porcelain skin
3.) Who needs Metallica when there is Queen?

When I SHOULD have been in gym class working out in the ninth grade, I instead pretended that I forgot my gym clothes so I could read the next Dragonlance novel.

Why did I do this?
For all the reasons you're thinking and have been discussed a million times
Trouble is.....I've been out of high school for 18 years......and I'm letting the same shit fly.

NO LONGER.....I am on the path to pectoral muscles...working different muscles groups every other day...I want to be the 34 year old jock.....I'm want to join a rugby team and wear stripes and say things like "Nice Hussle" or "Move your ass"....people say that right?

The reasoning here isn't because I don't want to be a gnerd anymore......I will always be a gnerd. I love being a gnerd.
I want to do this because I can.  Because its an option. And because I'll look good in the shorts.

Food - banana 24 oz of OJ Grilled Chesse French Onion Soup Two Fish Sandwiches, Mountain Dew (it was disgustingly sweet) and this is so far

Workout - Shoulder Back and Butt Work (Rugby Shorts here i Come!)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Good Mornin Cigarette.......

I started smoking when I was is what it is.  I want to tackle it....we all want to tackle it, but its not first on my list to change

But The Good mornin Cigarette IS on my list.. In college My friends and I cherished the good mornin cigarette...its how we got up, joked about the night before, reminisced about how stupid and ugly so and so was the night know....back when being a judgmental prick was the cat pajamas.

Nowadays, the Good Mornin Cigarette isn't connected to anything but "Jesus, I've been sleeping for 6 hours and haven't had a cigarette"......gross..

I also think the good mornin cigarette curbs the appetite and has kept me from eating breakfast for about ohhhh 12 years.

So I forced myself to eat 1400 calories before I smoked a cigarette today...right when I got up.
It was so much food.  How do people eat like that in the morning.

The first two hours of the day I felt bloated and like I never wanted to eat again.
Hours three and four I was ready to conquer the world, and take some names, and get the shit done and so forth.  It felt pretty good.

so I'm handing the good mornin ciggie over to the college kids where it belongs

I'm moved onto Top of the Mornin' Blueberry Mornin!

Workout 3 Reps of advanced Push up and Situps

Calorie intake (SO FAR) - just over 3000 plan on eating a fourth meal which will bring me to 4000

 Breakfast 2 english muffins with peanut butter kashi cereal with milk oj banana

lunch pasta primavera oj and a coke

dinner 2 pork chops parsnips baked apples with cinnamon and butter

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

almost forgot

I just ate 3 peanut butter and olive oil sandwiches and they should be added to my daily intake.
An online suggestion.....

The Mission

I'm a thin man. In fact I'm a see my hipbones thin man. And while it may not be easy to hear someone tell me to eat something at least once a week, I understand where it's coming from.

I live in the Midwest...and if a man isn't packing at least average weight (which here is actually about 30 - 80 extra pounds of Ground Beef that has been packed on to his stomach and his ass) there is SOMETHING WRONG.

Don't get it turned though...I'm not mad at 'em.  I understand that at the core of the comments is concern.
But there are things that I want people to understand as well.

I thought it was important to address the issues of this thin man (and my guess is of many others as well):

I am active.
My metabolism is insane.
I eat a lot (probably not enough for my body type, but a lot)
I never stop moving (even in my sleep)
I have a hard time eating a big breakfast.

Now, I'm pretty sure the last time I weighed 98 lbs was before I had any pubic hair.
But then again I'm 6' tall.
and my whole adult life I have weighed between 130-145 lbs.

SO THE GOAL: To Gain 35lbs this year

After a kidney stone and falling on my face on Halloween (a long story to be told at a later date), my weight is lower than usual at a whopping


The Goal by 2012: 170

Now,In order to gain 20 pounds I have been told by a dietary guide that I should be taking in 4400 calories a day with muscle training.

Am I a blogger? I don't know yet.
Am I on a Mission? Yes.
Will this help? Maybe....I have found Public Scrutiny to be a huge motivator in just about everything in life....and if this blog helps me or anyway else in my predicament, I figure why not? Get it all out here we go...

What I ate today:
Kashi Blueberry Cereal
4 Pepsis (I know gross, got to get this in check)
A Swiss and Mushroom Burger from Culvers
Nachos and salsa
2 Cheese and 1 Chicken Enchilada
4 pieces of Russell Stover's Caramels
Spinach Salad with Avocado, cucumber, onion, tomato, goat and cottage cheese and Peppercorn Dressing.
20 0z of Orange Juice
1 Bottled Water
Calories : ??????

3 reps on push ups, curls, and shoulder work with dumbbells
Is this what I should be doing ????????? I think its a good start.

Cordially Yours,
The Thin Man